May 8, 2008

Wedding Planning: It doesn’t have to be stressful

Pinyo from Moolanomy is having the Best Wedding Tips and Stories Contest. I figured that since we just celebrated our first anniversary a few days ago that this was a great opportunity to reflect on our wedding and share a few tips.

I can’t believe that it has been one year since our wedding. What a wonderful time that was! I am a planner by nature and I loved every bit of planning my wedding. My wedding day was everything I ever dreamed about.

However, I did experience times when the planning got to me and became stressful. There are so many possibilities and so many choices and let’s face it, we all want our wedding to be special or better than the next person. But planning a wedding doesn't need to be stressful.

Remember the big picture.
Yes, this is one of the most important days of your life, but don't lose sight of what the day is truly about, it is about marriage. It is about marrying your best friend and the love of your life. The wedding is one day but the marriage lasts a lifetime. Luckily, my husband was my rock and reminded me of that when I needed it.

Do your research and hire people you trust.
Get some recommendations for vendors and do your research. But also remember that just because a vendor received rave reviews on a wedding website or from your friends, doesn't necessarily mean that they are the right fit for you. Every bride is different and every bride has a different expectation and vision of what they want, so trust your gut. If a vendor doesn’t feel right to you, then don’t book them. Keep looking; you want to trust your vendors. I interviewed several photographers until I found the right one who was within my budget and who I felt a great connection one. I felt that I could trust her with documenting one of the most important days of my life.

Don't do it all yourself.
Delegate! People will help you if you ask and people do truly want to help you. Accept some help from your wedding party and families and delegate. I had a lot of do-it-yourself projects and wanted things to be perfect. So letting go was hard for me. I realized that I needed help and in the end, hiring a day of coordinator and trusting my vision to them was the absolutely best thing I could have done. There was no way I was going to get everything ready and set up without them. I actually had the chance to sit down and eat food at my wedding. I was so happy at how smoothly the wedding flowed and how all I had to do was enjoy it. You don't have to spend a lot of money, you can even enlist the help of a friend or two (my day of coordinators were actually a couple of friends) to take care of the details the day of the wedding.

No, you don't have to.
With so many wedding resources available to brides such as websites, magazines, and the many reality TV wedding shows; wedding ideas are endless. But the downside to all those resources is the feeling that you have to have everything. You have to have favors, pin tuck table linens, chiavari chairs, you have to do a garter toss, and the list can go on and on. No you don't have to. Decide what is important for you and what will work with your budget. Don’t break your budget over some fancy chairs that no one will remember or even notice.

Enjoy yourself.
Last but not least enjoy yourself. Enjoy the engagement, enjoy the wedding, and enjoy your marriage. You are going to marry the love of your life, be happy and enjoy your engagement and most importantly enjoy some time with your fiancĂ©. Don't get so absorbed into the planning process that you forget about him and neglect him; he is the reason why you are getting married. Take time away from planning to spend time with him. (And dragging him to meet with a vendor is not spending time with him.) Mr. Bear always said he couldn’t wait till the wedding was over so he could have me back. Don’t get so wrapped up in the details on the day of that you fail to enjoy your wedding, remember to delegate and let go. It is only one day so enjoy it while it lasts. And most importantly enjoy your marriage. After the focus is off of you and your husband, enjoy the time you have together.

Photo by Amy Squires Photography


  1. Not only doesn't your wedding not have to be stressful, but you don't have to break the bank. There are lots of different tips and tricks that you can use to make you dream wedding affordable.

  2. This is a great article. I love the expression and detail.