This blog has not been receiving the love it deserves from me. I have been all consumed by pregnancy and upcoming motherhood, that I have been neglectful of this blog. I guess that it is true that motherhood begins to alter you when you become pregnant. But I always hoped that I would continue to define myself by my many roles; psychologist, wife, friend, woman, and mother. Lately, it has all been about being mother-to-be.
I guess this all makes sense since this new journey is uncharted territory for me. I have the excitement and anxiety that comes when you take on a new role. Yet, this role is different from any other role I have taken. With this role comes the responsibility of a new life and guiding this at first helpless being into a productive individual. I am looking forward to figuring this all out and the challenge of it all, but a part of me worries that I will lose a part of myself along the way. Right now when people look at me all they see is an obviously pregnant woman. I am constantly asked how I am feeling and how far along I am. While the attention is nice and I should enjoy it while it lasts (I only have about 10 weeks left to go), I wonder if a part of me is lost or if a part of me is altered. I know I am forever changed and this is a great change that I have been looking forward to for a long time. But as with every change you experience there is some apprehension and anxiety about where it will take you.
I like who I am and who I was, will I like who I become? Can I continue to be the person I was after this life changing event? So many questions run through me head.