March 31, 2009

Who will I become?

This blog has not been receiving the love it deserves from me. I have been all consumed by pregnancy and upcoming motherhood, that I have been neglectful of this blog. I guess that it is true that motherhood begins to alter you when you become pregnant. But I always hoped that I would continue to define myself by my many roles; psychologist, wife, friend, woman, and mother. Lately, it has all been about being mother-to-be.

I guess this all makes sense since this new journey is uncharted territory for me. I have the excitement and anxiety that comes when you take on a new role. Yet, this role is different from any other role I have taken. With this role comes the responsibility of a new life and guiding this at first helpless being into a productive individual. I am looking forward to figuring this all out and the challenge of it all, but a part of me worries that I will lose a part of myself along the way. Right now when people look at me all they see is an obviously pregnant woman. I am constantly asked how I am feeling and how far along I am. While the attention is nice and I should enjoy it while it lasts (I only have about 10 weeks left to go), I wonder if a part of me is lost or if a part of me is altered. I know I am forever changed and this is a great change that I have been looking forward to for a long time. But as with every change you experience there is some apprehension and anxiety about where it will take you.

I like who I am and who I was, will I like who I become? Can I continue to be the person I was after this life changing event? So many questions run through me head.


  1. I finally had the chance to stop by your blog and this post brought back a lot of feelings and continues to be a lingering question each day.

    I think the main thing is that your answer lies within you (simple right?). Your life is now part of the little bundle you created with Mr. Bear--life as you use to know it will be changed. Take each day for what it is (good, bad and the ugly), but you will soon know your answer to your question every time you will look into your daughter's eyes...a wonderful mom!

  2. its wonderful post, keep going i will visit back