Who will I become?

This blog has not been receiving the love it deserves from me. I have been all consumed by pregnancy and upcoming motherhood, that I have been neglectful of this blog. I guess that it is true that motherhood begins to alter you when you become pregnant. But I always hoped that I would continue to define myself by my many roles; psychologist, wife, friend, woman, and mother. Lately, it has all been about being mother-to-be.

I guess this all makes sense since this new journey is uncharted territory for me. I have the excitement and anxiety that comes when you take on a new role. Yet, this role is different from any other role I have taken. With this role comes the responsibility of a new life and guiding this at first helpless being into a productive individual. I am looking forward to figuring this all out and the challenge of it all, but a part of me worries that I will lose a part of myself along the way. Right now when people look at me all they see is an obviously pregnant woman. I am constantly asked how I am feeling and how far along I am. While the attention is nice and I should enjoy it while it lasts (I only have about 10 weeks left to go), I wonder if a part of me is lost or if a part of me is altered. I know I am forever changed and this is a great change that I have been looking forward to for a long time. But as with every change you experience there is some apprehension and anxiety about where it will take you.

I like who I am and who I was, will I like who I become? Can I continue to be the person I was after this life changing event? So many questions run through me head.

Today's forecast

From accuweather.com

Currently At 5:42AM

51°F

Cloudy

Then why is it raining outside??

The forecast says:

Monday, Mar 30

High: 71 °F RealFeel®: 76 °F

Sunshine

It is almost 6 in the morning and it is definitely raining out there. Not a little morning drizzle or dew. I was looking forward to a beautiful sunny day. Maybe it will clear up. I hope so.

Happy Birthday Mr. Bear!!

Today is his birthday!! Mr. Bear is the best and most wonderful husband. We don't do anything big for our birthdays, but I did make him a yummy pot roast dinner. He seems content with a homemade dinner. I was going make him some red velvet cupcakes, but that would entail making an entire batch of 24 cupcakes. It is kind of hard to make just a few. So he said not to make any. His mom had gotten him some Lindt Lindor Truffles as part of his gift. Those are some yummy truffles!

Mr. Bear, I hope you had a great Birthday!! I LOVE YOU!

Best Yoga Instructor

My yoga instructor sent me this video. Gotta love it!! In fact, in yoga this morning she incorporated some of these poses :) I love yoga!

Spring is here!

Happy Spring!! It is a perfect day in Southern California. Sunny and warm (but not too warm). What a great first day of spring. I enjoy what spring has to bring, beautiful flowers in so many beautiful shades and sunny days. I've always enjoyed the coming of spring because the weather usually gets warmer and because of daylight savings time, the days are longer. Enjoy the spring season.

I raced!

(Blog entry from Sher's Corner)

I did it, I Raced for the Cure yesterday. Thank you to all that helped to support this organization. I raised a total of $905! I never raised that much money for anything. I am really proud of myself for doing so. Baby Bear and I completed the 5K in a little over 52 minutes. Not too bad for being 28 weeks pregnant. We jog a small part of it but mostly walked since the extra weight I have gained makes my feet hurt when I run (it is a sad thing about being pregnant). I am pretty happy that I did this! I was excited to see others jogging with jogging strollers and their babies. Next year, that will be me!!

It was a great event and had a wonderful turn out. I have participated in the Race for the Cure for several years now and I was glad that I was still able to participate and not let being pregnant make me miss out on this. It has been important for me to do this in memory of my sister-in-law.

(I did take a picture but I look so awful in it there is no way I am posting it. Mr. Bear agreed that it wasn't the best picture of me. Oh well next year!)

Cheez-Its: My all time favorite snack

I had forgotten how much I love Cheez-Its. I saw it on sale at the store the other day and picked up a box and it is almost gone. As a kid, I absolutely loved Cheez-Its, I still do. My favorite is to have Cheez-Its with cream cheese. Mmmm.

I know that Cheez-Its are not the healthiest choice, but there is something comforting about Cheez-Its to me. I know that is really strange but it is true. I don't buy them often simply because I know they are my weakness. I can't seem to eat them in moderation. I fail in that respect. I am eating them as I type and I am not even hungry. They sure do taste good.

Chase Monster loves them too! He always seems to know when I am snacking on them, he is immediately by my side. I always give him a couple of crackers. I know probably not a good idea for my monster of a cat, but it is not everyday that I buy Cheez-Its.

Another birthday tech toy

I know it is a week past my birthday, but I got some birthday money from my parents and a phone upgrade credit just waiting to be used. So I got a new phone for my birthday. I have been wanting a smartphone that would sync with my email accounts.

It has been really busy at work (being pregnant and working 2 jobs probably doesn't help matters), so I have also been heavily relying on my Outlook calendar to keep me organized with my meetings and commitments that having two offices entails. I thought a smartphone would at least help me to manage my email influx when I was between offices. Since I will become a working mother, I know that being organized is a pretty important thing when managing work and family. I felt that this little piece of technology might help to make things a little easier. When Baby Bear comes I will need all the help I can get.

So I did my research, as I always do. I didn't have a lot of options since I did want to stick with my existing wireless provides, so that I could take advantage of my upgrade credit. My family uses Verizon wireless, so that left me with only a few choices. I kind of wanted an iPhone, but Verizon does not offer that phone. So I turned my research to Verizon phones.

It was very important that the smartphone I chose sync up with my Outlook at work. First, I considered the Blackberry Storm, which is Blackberry's version of the iPhone. It did look very cool and felt nice. But I had read some reviews about bugs in the system and I knew it would take a little more work for me to figure out how to configure it with my Outlook at work (according to our work website, they do not support Blackberries. It can be done but my IT dept. won't be able to really help me). Not a good sign for the Storm.

So I looked at the Samsung Omnia i910. Also a touch screen phone and very comparable to the Blackberry Storm and the iPhone. I looked at reviews online and there were many favorable reviews, both by users and professional reviewers. Some touted the Omnia to be better than the Storm and the iPhone. Definitely, a worthy competitor to the iPhone. It operates on Windows Mobile, which allows it to work very well with Outlook. That was definitely a plus for me. Plus, Verizon was offering a rebate for the purchase of an Omnia.

So I went to a Verizon store to take a look at the Samsung Omnia i910 in person. I liked the feel of it and the way it worked in the store. The rebate coupled with the upgrade credit helped to make it very inexpensive in comparison to other phones, so it seemed like the way to go. I've only had it for a day so we will so how it holds up. So far I am pleased with my choice.

My B-day gift: Aiptek 720p HD camcorder

For a little while, Mr. Bear and I had been talking about getting a small little video camera for when the baby arrives. I had been talking with my friend who has extensive knowledge about these things (he has worked for Warner Bros, Disney, and Dreamworks) and he recommended an Aiptek High Definition camcorder.

He has an older model and uses this more than his professional grade equipment since it is so portable. I had played around with his in the past and it was so easy to use. I really love how small it is. I have heard so much about the Flip Video and was looking into those as well. But the Aiptek not only has 1 GB of memory storage, but also takes a SD flash card as well for more memory. Whereas the Flip only has the built-in memory, so you would have to download videos right away in order to take other videos after you use your memory up. I like that I can stick the SD Flash card in my card reader and not have the need to install any other program like you would for the Flip. The Aiptek also takes still photos (up to 8 megapixels), not really a necessary feature for me but the Flip does not take still photos so that is an added bonus for the Aiptek. The Flip has some great reviews but I really liked the versatility of the Aiptek, plus the recommendation from someone I trust who really knows his video equipment helped.

For my birthday, Mr. Bear went out and got me one!! He got me the Aiptek 720P. It is a high definition camcorder that fits in your hand. Best of all, it doesn't break the bank. It also takes still 8 megapixel photos as well as video and has a digital zoom (not the greatest, but fine for me and our purposes).

So far I love it. It will definitely come in handy for when Baby Bear arrives. I can stick it in my diaper bag and capture those first moments. Plus, it also has a decent camera so I won't miss those "Kodak" moments as well and I won't have to carry around a camera and a camcorder. In my first few uses, it has been really easy to use. I have yet to download the videos to my computer, but then again I haven't really captured anything substantial quite yet. Mostly, just random things in testing it out. I am quite pleased and looking forward to capturing some great family moments. I can't wait to capture some great Baby Bear moments with this new little toy. Thank you Mr. Bear, you are awesome and so thoughtful!!