{Creative Corner} Princess Tulle Wands

For Baby Bear's preschool fundraiser I decided to make the princess wands instead of buying the cheap plastic ones. Look at what I made...



I think they turned out pretty good. I use the tutorial from this blog. They are very easy to make, I think any little girl will love this.

Time for myself

I need to remember to take the time for myself. I get so consumed with being a mom, wife, and employee, that I often forget to take time to just be me. I have carved out time to workout and go for runs, so that has been a start. But nothing more than that. Until today; I had a pedicure. The first professional pedicure that I have had in 10 months!! My last one was the day I went into labor. A professional pedicure is just so much better than painting your own toes.

I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful husband. He took Baby Bear for the morning. I went of a jog/walk with a friend, took a nice long, hot shower (it is nice not to rush through a shower), and got a pedicure. I also had time to vacuum and start a load of laundry without a baby yelling at me for my attention (I couldn't help it I had to get some chores done).

I love my Baby Bear, but sometimes I just need some time to myself to relax and unwind. Sometimes I need a little time without Baby Bear to pick up around the house. Baby Bear can be very clingy and demanding of my time. I want to spend as much time as possible with her, but a little time away helps me to be a better mommy. A person can feel a little trapped by having someone so dependent on you. And I was beginning to feel that way. I was beginning to feel like I had to run away. I do get time away when I go to work during the week, but I am work working. I needed time to just be by myself and relax.

To top of the day, Mr. Bear and I had a date night. We went to dinner, just the two of us. I had the chance to eat dinner without rushing through dinner. I even ordered a mai tai with my dinner. I only drank half of it, when I realized that I was feeling a buzz. Wow, it has been forever since I've had a real drink since I am still breastfeeding.

Hello again!

Wow, it has been some time since I have posted on this blog. I had a baby and life has changed. I worried about losing myself and be so absorbed into motherhood that the other parts of me would be lost. I think that for the first few months while Baby Bear was a newborn it was. Baby Bear needed me so much that I had to be absorbed into motherhood, if I hadn't allowed myself that I would not have been the best mama bear I could possibly be. Is it selfish that I also want to be more than a mother and also be who I have always been? I don't think so and I hope that is not the case.

I love being a mother, it is absolutely amazing. Baby Bear is absolutely amazing and you see more about her on her blog. I have about a month left until I return to work and it is time to focus a fraction of my attention on me. A happy mama = a happy baby.

The one thing I have really wanted to get back into is working out. I have been taking Baby Bear for walks/jogs and going to mommy and Me yoga. But I am not able to workout like I was pre-pregnancy or even to the extent that I did during pregnancy. It is hard to find the time to get back to the gym with a baby who is so dependent on you. So I decided I needed to figure something out.

Today, I started the 30 Day Shred. I've heard so much about it and wanted to try it out before I got pregnant. I started with level 1 and that kicked my butt. I realize that it has been some time since I have done a real workout and I had a baby 3 months ago, but boy am I out of shape. I have a month before I go back to work and who knows what my time will be like once I add work back into the mix. So I figured I better get my butt in gear and make the commitment. I feel great! I love working out and feeling the burn. I missed that so much!!

I do still have baby weight to lose, but I am more concerned about toning back up and getting back to being fit. My goal is not to lose weight as much since I am still breastfeeding, but to get back to my pre-pregnancy fitness level.

Neglect

I realize that I have been very neglectful of this blog. Impending motherhood has been all consuming of my mind and body. When I am not working, I am thinking about Baby Bear's arrival and preparing as much as I can. I never knew that the idea of becoming a mother takes over you so completely. But, it does so in a good way.

I always thought that I would be able to retain a part of me that would be independent of motherhood. I still believe that I will (who knows I may be naive in thinking this), but I think it will take some time and at this particular time the changes in my body and hormones have taken over so completely that my needs are not so important as the needs of the new life that is inside of me. It is an amazing experience and feeling.

Many people say that motherhood changes you and I am sure that it will, but I also hope at the same time that I still able to retain who I am. I look forward to the challenges and rewards of motherhood, but I hope it will enhance who I am rather than totally change my entire being, if that makes any sense. I guess time will tell.

I have many thoughts and feelings with the idea of motherhood. Apprehension and excitement is all around this entire experience. Will I be a good mother? Will I continue to be a good wife? Will I continue to be me? So many questions run through my head. In the end this new life will enter the world and it is up to Mr. Bear and I to guide her through life. we are up for the challenge and we are so excited for this little one to enter our lives. But at the same time I am a little nervous about it all. Will there ever come a time where I do not obsess about motherhood and my abilities to be a good mother? Or is this a part of this new phase of my life and a part of who I have become? Hmmm, I wonder.